Living without air conditioning is a good way to tell how old you're getting! It's been over 100 degrees in the house for a week now. Monster and I have been heading up into the hills every afternoon to escape. Today I'm going to bring Monster over to Ruanne's house so he can stay in a cool house for the rest of the week. Give him a little Camp Ruanne vacation for a week while I work with a bunch of kids, starting tomorrow, around economic justice issues. It's going to be a hot week to be running around downtown LA, but that's the way it goes. Next week is Pacific Yearly Meeting out in Redlands at the University. UGH!

Anyone who has ever done any endurance events will surely have gone through "a bonk." It begins as a physical event. You've used up all your reserves. One moment you are doing well, running on four cylinders and then, all of a sudden, you're down to one cyclinder, and then suddenly none. Mental ability and confidence are the next to plummet. Soon you are at bottom both mentally and physically. The worst is that finally comes the emotional plummet. Nothing is left to bouy you up. Nothing is left to give you hope.

 

I have experienced this more than once in a race. It's a devastating experience. A humbling experience. There is no way to predict it and so little chance of avoiding it. It is especially devastating when it happens to an endurance athlete who is doing well, who is at the head of his or her game. Marathon athletes mistake "hitting the wall" for bonking, but hitting the wall (suddenly feeling like there are heavy weights on your legs as you run) can be avaoided by training. Most of the time your mental and emotional state is not involved. Bonking, though, can not be predicted and can not be avoided if you risk the endurance races.

 

Yesterday Floyd Landis, at the top of his game, seriously bonked. As I watched it on television I knew from personal experience what he was experiencing. I knew how awful the feeling was. I knew how much courage it took to keep on peddling, though he had nothing left to peddle with. Each kilometer he lost more and more time. He went from leading the race to losing a minute for each kilometer he rode. He went from first place to 21st place. Commentators said he had lost the race, that he had no chance to recover and win the Tour.

 

Now I have to admit I've not been a fan of Floyd Landis, not until yesterday. What courage it took him to continue! How deeply did he have to reach down to find the will to continue his race. In the 100 mile mountain races I have run it sometimes comes down to running from tree to tree, just struggling to keep one foot in front of the other. Folks wonder why I enjoyed running endurance races. Hell, that's easy. They let us know, when the bonking hits, what we are made of. Do we have the courage to continue at life's worst moments? Can we find the strength to continue even when we are defeated mentally, physically and emotionally?

 

I became a fan of Floyd Landis yesterday when it became apparent what he was made of.

 

Today he proved the point, taking the lead in a race everyone had said he had already lost. Taking the lead from the beginning. Working alone without a team to stay at the front of a very hard mountain race. Struggling to come back from a ten minute deficit to a 30 second deficit and winning the stage.

 

This is why I love the Tour. Because it is a chance, now that I'm no longer a sports competitor, to watch an endurance athlete prove yet one more time that there is more to any of us than others give us credit for, especially when we need to dig deeply to find it.

 

Bravo, Floyd!

Finally home after being up in Seattle at Friends General Conference and San Jose with Tana, Jaemon and Jennalise. Finally on vacation, trying to get some work done and not being very successful. INto my end of the semester watching old movies and sleeping mode. Today I've got to get some work done. At least I have a meeting tonight in downtown LA that will get me out of the house.

 

Sunday night I went out for a little bit. Stopped to get money from the ATM machine and after giving me my money the ATM machine ate my card! SInce I had my cell phone with me I called B of A right away. After being on hold for 20 minutes, they put my card on hold and told me I should go back to the bank on Monday morning to see if they had my card...or they could cancel my old card and send out a new one. Now how do you make decisions like this when you've never had to make a decision like this before. Our modern life gives us decisions to make for which there is no previous experience and for which there is no right answer apparent. Since my philosophy of life is "the simplest solution" I decided to try the bank the next day. When I went to the bank on Monday it turns out they not only had my card, but 6 others! There were a bunch of us at the bank! They turned the card back on for me while I waited, but a few hours of worry and dismay.

 

Of course it's nothing compared to the new decisions Jaemon and Tana need to make. Lots of decisions for which there are no right answers, or conflicting answers, or questions you didn't even know existed! It was so wonderful to spend time with them all. Rosemary, Tana's mom, is spending time with them helping out. She was so good to have around. Doing dishes, washing clothes, and holding Jennalise. What a great help she is to both Tana and Jaemon. I did a lot of Jennalise holding and I made gnocci and chicken marsala one night for dinner. As usual for me, I made too much.

 

Still haven't made up things for Fall semester, and lots of work still to do for Pacific Yearly Meeting. Hooked again on watching the Tour de France. It's even more exciting this year with Lance gone. No clear leader, though it's looking like Floyd Landis is starting to dominate. The overall winner though is still difficult to pick. I wanted George Hinkappe to win, but he's not doing too well this year. It's been a great Tour so far.

 

Well, back to watching the Tour...

I'm home for a few days now to do Quaker Business, then off to finally get a chance to hold the dear one in my arms! I'm posting some pictures of Jennalise to this blog. While I was up in Seattle I had a lot of chance to think and it's amazing how much actually being a grandpa has changed my life. I'm not quite sure I understand it, but having a grandchild is one of those major life occurances, like having a child of your own, getting married or divorced, buying a house, etc. I would not have thought that would be true! Can't wait to hold Jennalise in my arms...