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March 31 The FarmHow do I express gratitude for grace, for the beauty that has been given to me since the Math Department moved to the farm area of our campus? I have no words today equal to the gifts that were given, and somehow my poor prayer of thanks and longing seems meager to the bounty. I took some time today and wondered around the farm. In the pasture next to our building a new kid and mother were grazing. We've had an unusually wet Spring, which is almost making up for Winter's draught. It's been cool, but today some of the clouds and rain of the last two weeks have cleared, and the pasture was warm and green, white bright cumulus clouds in a crystal blue sky. We are between storms and the winds aloft push the clouds quickly overhead. A real treat to watch when my eyes weren't content to watch the mother and child.
I was a vegetarian for eight years many years ago. I think I'm becoming one again. There's no doubt these are sentient creatures. They move with volition and purpose, though I am too dense to see what their purpose is, beyond that of a mother's love for her child. That makes me the fool, much as I am with God, whose purpose I often can not discern. Yet looking at the world today, this farm, I am clear that such a purpose exists. I think of my best Buddy, my dog Monster. It was really cool last night and as I got into bed he nosed his-self under the covers and right up besides me, and as I look at the mother and her newly born kid I see Monster's face looking back at me and am convicted that I have other's kill for me. If I had to do it myself, I might still do it, but it would be with more integrity, or at least more mindfulness. As a creature of consciousness, the greatest failure is unconsciousness. I don't know whether or not being so close to the farm will make me into a vegetarian again. I just want to share my thoughts today because grace was so abundantly given. I am too mindful of my own inadequacies to convict others. It is not a matter of which ones of us do not cause harm. We all do. It is a matter of degree, and perhaps today I would like to lessen the pain I cause to any of God's creatures. As long as I live I will cause pain in the world. Today I wonder if becoming a vegetarian again would lessen the pain I cause and the pain I experience as I look into the mother's eyes, while I watch the kid who is oblivious to the predator who stands so close at hand. At least if I killed and ate them myself I might acknowledge them in a more meaningful way, and perhaps that's what today is all about. An acknowledgment of the life I take from them, though I have others do it for me. How often blessing and pain go together on the farm! I continued walking over to a spot that was new for me. It turns out that MSAC offers a landscape architecture and horticulture program, and as part of that program a plot of land is set aside for gardens with fountains and rock streams. White lilies on long green stalks grow from the water and are reflected in the ripples and ponds. Brightly colored koi swim. One of them occasionally, mouth wide open, rises a full head's length out of the pond, bobbing up and down like a bright colored bird begging a worm. I had my sketch-pad/journal and sat and did some sketching. My sketches are amateurish. I have no talent, or perhaps mediocre talent at best. But grace was so abundant today I didn't care. Wonderful, quick sketches in my journal. Evocative of the quick feelings of peace, dynamic sketches representing the flow I feel at play in the world today.
There is so much wrong with the world we are gifting to Jennalise, but so much that is right and good and bountiful that I am more grateful than fearful of the world she will inherit, at least for today. And the thought of her birth and what she will bring to us, the light she will bring into a world often filled with pain and suffering, is sufficient today to add to this day's joy! New BlogOKay, so if Jennalise, my as yet unborn granddaughter has her own blog, I guess Grandpa Joe can have one, too! I can't imagine, though, what I'd have to say in a blog that anyone might want to read! Students go to my websight at http://elearn.mtsac.edu/jfranko, and I'm in the process of setting up a blackboard site, too. Hum...in this age of computers, do they save work or simply create more work?
I think this is a lot more work than the old days, when I trod through 3 feet of snow to get to school <grin>... |
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